GeneticBlueprint Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 The Browns My favorite bits: Quote You blew a 21-7 fourth quarter lead to Brett Hundley, of all people. You cut Joe Haden and he IMMEDIATELY joined the Steelers and found himself in an AFC playoffs because of course he did. Leaving the Browns is like leaving prison. You see sunlight for the first time. You remember what real food tastes like. My God, is this a fresh orange? SENSORY OVERLOAD! I don’t know if I’m gonna remember how to pee alone! They cut Brock Osweiler, but not before releasing the world’s worst hype video in his honor: I’m still angry they made an AC/DC reference but used Metallica’s font. It offends me as a 41-year-old suburban dad, and it should offend you as well. They tried trading second- and third-round picks for future failed Buffalo Bill AJ McCarron, only to have the trade fall through because they botched the paperwork. Quote A source with knowledge of the Browns’ sequence of events told cleveland.com that they sent their signed document to the Bengals with the expectation that the Bengals would also sign it and forward it on to the league. Amazing. Fucking amazing. I wouldn’t trust the Bengals to make a fucking mustard sandwich properly, and yet here are the analytics masters of the Browns blindly entrusting their fate to Mike Brown’s fax machine. Why, it’s almost like the Haslam family is instinctively careless with formal documentation! Did I mention that the Niners got Jimmy Garoppolo for just a second rounder? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 This is BY FAR the best part of the NFL season! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneticBlueprint Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 46 minutes ago, SFLUFAN said: This is BY FAR the best part of the NFL season! Yup! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneticBlueprint Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Here it from Browns fans: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewhyteboar Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 So happy these are back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 It takes a special...uhhhhh..."talent" to go 1-31 in the 2018 NFL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 11 minutes ago, SFLUFAN said: It takes a special...uhhhhh..."talent" to go 1-31 in the 2018 NFL. Expect another special season this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dre801 Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 I live in Tampa Bay. I don't need to know why, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 The Giants The Colts The Texans The Broncos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 The Jets - @Kal-El814 @Snaynay1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kal-El814 Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 12 minutes ago, SFLUFAN said: The Jets - @Kal-El814 @Snaynay1 I read it. It was solid as always, though I disagree with the notion that Jets fans celebrate when we get within 10 of the Pats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Here is a history of QBs the Jets have drafted since the salad days of Ken O’Brien: Christian Hackenberg Bryce Petty Tajh Boyd Geno Smith Greg McElroy Mark Sanchez Erik Ainge Kellen Clemens Brad Smith Brooks Bollinger Chad Pennington Chuck Clements Glenn Foley Jeff Blake BROWNING NAGLE Troy Taylor Bill Ransdell This is a draft history ineptitude unparalleled in its longevity and consistency. It’s the Cal Ripken Streak of Shitty QB Drafting. I sometimes wish I’d grown up a Bills fan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kal-El814 Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I maintain that Chad Pennington is underrated by Jets fans. It’s possoble that’s just the Stockholm syndrome talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 18 hours ago, Kal-El814 said: I maintain that Chad Pennington is underrated by Jets fans. It’s possoble that’s just the Stockholm syndrome talking. He was the last good QB they had which is kinda sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 The Buccaneers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricofoley Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 Bears are next. I dunno when Drew Magary wrote these, but if I were starting one now I'd start with the fact that the Bears inexplicably have not signed their first round draft pick yet, long after everyone else has, even though the entire rookie wage scale is set up to basically prevent this from happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurdyb1 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 Hilarious! Looking forward to laugh and cry at the Bears one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewhyteboar Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 The Seahawks one could just be this: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 I'm unliiiiiiiiiiimited! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 Just for that video, he deserves a season-ending injury. From a defensive end on his own team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 Insert jimmy g pornstar joke for the niners one *yawn* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurdyb1 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 Russell.....WTF?!?!?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewhyteboar Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-san-francisco-49ers-1828188782 49ers The last Candlestick game I went to Trent Richardson scored a touchdown on us. We matched his touchdown and lost 27-7. Johnny Manziel won a game as a Cleveland Brown against us. He has more wins as a Cleveland Brown then Brian Hoyer did as a 49er. The Buffalo Bills have been to a playoff game more recently than us. The Jaguars have won a playoff game more recently than us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 The Bears The 49ers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slug Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 I can't wait for them to copy and paste the previous 10 years of Redskins ones. "Something something Snyder, something something racist, lol front office, 500th new QB." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurdyb1 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 OMG! I didn't know whether to get tissue to wipe my tears of sadness or tears from gut busting laughter for the Bears. But the one fan quote said it best, "If there was no Cleveland Browns, we'd be it." Go Bears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 The Raiders 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedSoxFan9 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 It’s funny that people get mad about these Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneticBlueprint Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 4 hours ago, Slug said: I can't wait for them to copy and paste the previous 10 years of Redskins ones. "Something something Snyder, something something racist, lol front office, 500th new QB." Then quit making the same stupid fucking mistakes :P 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slug Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 22 minutes ago, GeneticBlueprint said: Then quit making the same stupid fucking mistakes :P I agree! I'm saying the article will be predictable, not inaccurate. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurdyb1 Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 12 hours ago, RedSoxFan9 said: It’s funny that people get mad about these Yeah, it's all good humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaynay1 Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 I couldn't watch it today because california, but it seemed from my ESPN gamecast bullshit that the Jets did alright today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Snaynay1 said: I couldn't watch it today because california, but it seemed from my ESPN gamecast bullshit that the Jets did alright today. They did well against Atlanta's 2nd and 3rd string fo sho. If scoring 17 points is good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewhyteboar Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Bengals https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-cincinnati-bengals-1828297040 This is obligatory, but so is everything else about Cincinnati: the town’s sole contributions to American life are race riots, forgettable ‘70s sitcoms, and revolting chocolate beef gravy. That’s it. Cincinnati is like what if Kentucky, but somehow also the worst big city in America? It’s also the worst city in arguably our worst state, and it should be cleansed from the landscape by a swarm of flying ants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slug Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 Redskins https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-washington-redskins-1828326322 That's about right, yup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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