Jason Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 4 minutes ago, kittykat said: I sit to wipe my front but stand to wipe my butt And here you wonder why I turned down your advances! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skillzdadirecta Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 3 hours ago, Bloodporne said: My best shitting experience has been when I absolutely had to drop a deuce while taking a hike near a local graveyard. It was such a dire situation I had to choose between shitting my pants violently or desecration of holy grounds. Being the rocking motherfucker I am, I chose desecration by running to a slightly forested area, holding onto a tree for dear life and letting loose. I had never shit in a more satisfying and Metal fashion. You're welcome. PS: I STILL wiped my ass in a seated position...in a graveyard forest...with papers from a nearby trash can. I can top that although it's not MY story... a couple of years back, a buddy of mine came to visit from out of town. On his last night here, we went out drinking and got back late. I went to my room and passed out stone cold asleep. A couple of hours later, I awaken to hear loud banging coming form outside my bedroom. I called out to my buddy, who last I remember was asleep on my couch in the livingroom, asking if he was okay. I didn't know what was going on and I thought he may have been fighting an intruder in my living room. He told me to come open the door because he had locked himself out. I was confused but I got up and indeed he was looked out standing in my hallway banging on my door trying to wake me and apparently he had been out there for awhile. I let him in and went back to bed, but I could hear him going through my cabinets and then I heard the shower running. I made a mental note to ask him about it and went to sleep. The next day I asked him WTF had happened and he told me that in the middle of the night, he had to take a shit. In his drunken stupor he stumbled to what he thought was the bathroom but was really the door leading to the outside of my apartment and by the time he realized his mistake, the door closed behind him and he was unable to get back into the apartment even though the door was technically unlocked. Needing desperately to relieve his bowels he did what any other sane person would do... whe went to the trash chute room, somehow hiked his ass up over the door that you pull to drop your trash in, and took a shit down the chute. Of course his aim was less than perfect and he ended up getting some friendly fire all over the room and had to go back and clean it up which is why I heard him ruffling through my cabinets looking for cleaning products. I told him that I would probably get evicted an I spent the next couple of days expecting to come home to find a letter from the building stuck in my door but I never did. I guess he did a good job cleaning up... no idea if he stands or sits when he wipes. Pretty sure he didn't wipe that night, hence the shower. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 @ standers 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remarkableriots Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 15 hours ago, Chris- said: I think the better question is what are you doing? My fiber intake is so phenomenal, I barely need to wipe. Maybe y'all should stop blowing out your colon with poor nutrition. Get on my level. Lately it looks like slimmer or a gremlin exploded in the toilet after I take a shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remarkableriots Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 8 hours ago, Bloodporne said: My best shitting experience has been when I absolutely had to drop a deuce while taking a hike near a local graveyard. It was such a dire situation I had to choose between shitting my pants violently or desecration of holy grounds. Being the rocking motherfucker I am, I chose desecration by running to a slightly forested area, holding onto a tree for dear life and letting loose. I had never shit in a more satisfying and Metal fashion. You're welcome. PS: I STILL wiped my ass in a seated position...in a graveyard forest...with papers from a nearby trash can. I had an emergency while out running and had to find a place where nobody could see me. I went behind a power box and it was an explosive shit all over a wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodporne Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 6 hours ago, skillzdadirecta said: I can top that although it's not MY story... a couple of years back, a buddy of mine came to visit from out of town. On his last night here, we went out drinking and got back late. I went to my room and passed out stone cold asleep. A couple of hours later, I awaken to hear loud banging coming form outside my bedroom. I called out to my buddy, who last I remember was asleep on my couch in the livingroom, asking if he was okay. I didn't know what was going on and I thought he may have been fighting an intruder in my living room. He told me to come open the door because he had locked himself out. I was confused but I got up and indeed he was looked out standing in my hallway banging on my door trying to wake me and apparently he had been out there for awhile. I let him in and went back to bed, but I could hear him going through my cabinets and then I heard the shower running. I made a mental note to ask him about it and went to sleep. The next day I asked him WTF had happened and he told me that in the middle of the night, he had to take a shit. In his drunken stupor he stumbled to what he thought was the bathroom but was really the door leading to the outside of my apartment and by the time he realized his mistake, the door closed behind him and he was unable to get back into the apartment even though the door was technically unlocked. Needing desperately to relieve his bowels he did what any other sane person would do... whe went to the trash chute room, somehow hiked his ass up over the door that you pull to drop your trash in, and took a shit down the chute. Of course his aim was less than perfect and he ended up getting some friendly fire all over the room and had to go back and clean it up which is why I heard him ruffling through my cabinets looking for cleaning products. I told him that I would probably get evicted an I spent the next couple of days expecting to come home to find a letter from the building stuck in my door but I never did. I guess he did a good job cleaning up... no idea if he stands or sits when he wipes. Pretty sure he didn't wipe that night, hence the shower. I wonder if that Silent Hill 2 canned juice puzzle could've been solved this way? It's just as logical of a solution really. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skillzdadirecta Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 2 hours ago, Bloodporne said: I wonder if that Silent Hill 2 canned juice puzzle could've been solved this way? It's just as logical of a solution really. He had so many other options he could have chosen... nope. Shit down the 'chute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodporne Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 4 minutes ago, skillzdadirecta said: He had so many other options he could have chosen... nope. Shit down the 'chute! I mean, it's hands down the funniest option, so good for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skillzdadirecta Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 1 minute ago, Bloodporne said: I mean, it's hands down the funniest option, so good for him. I take every opportunity to tell that story to people when he's around especially when there are women. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodporne Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 10 minutes ago, skillzdadirecta said: I take every opportunity to tell that story to people when he's around especially when there are women. Keep that up if you want him to shit down your chute next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skillzdadirecta Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Just now, Bloodporne said: Keep that up if you want him to shit down your chute next time. Nah, he's like a brother and takes it in stride. We kill with that story at parties Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodporne Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 7 minutes ago, skillzdadirecta said: Nah, he's like a brother and takes it in stride. We kill with that story at parties German shit fetish BDSM parties? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skillzdadirecta Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 16 minutes ago, Bloodporne said: German shit fetish BDSM parties? Well played 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodporne Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 5 minutes ago, skillzdadirecta said: Well played "OH JAAAAA Ey vish dis schoooooot kuhd have been mein moussssssssss" "TELL US MOAHHH SKILLZZZZ" *fap fap fap fap fap fap fap* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamer.tv Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Sitting, with a slight lean to the left (as I’m right handed) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 11 minutes ago, kittykat said: What advances? The ones you were pissy about on Discord last night that I'd rejected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eggydoo Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Reminds me of a story a college friend told me once where she was about to hook up with some dude and then saw shit stains on his boxers when it was about to go down and she backed out. He must've been a stand up wipe guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 1 hour ago, eggydoo said: Reminds me of a story a college friend told me once where she was about to hook up with some dude and then saw shit stains on his boxers when it was about to go down and she backed out. He must've been a stand up wipe guy. That is a deal breaker amirite? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 4 hours ago, gamer.tv said: Sitting, with a slight lean to the left (as I’m right handed) Same. I really can’t believe people stand. You’re making your life more difficult Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 2 minutes ago, kittykat said: What? Sitting and wiping is way more difficult and you can't clean properly. When you stand up you get a more thorough wipe without having to worry about balance. Yeah if you don’t know how to wipe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 @best3444 I apologize for everything I've ever said about you at least you're not a fucking savage who can't clean their butthole properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSpreader Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 How to use a public restroom 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triage Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 Eww so many of you gross.. Who the fuck stands to wipe? Forever unclean! I sit then hop in tub or shower and wash my ass with Summer's Eve special vag/ass soap. I mean if you get shit smeared on your hand do you just wipe with toilet paper or do you wash with soap and water? How different is that with your ass? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 It's easier to stand and spread your cheek with one hand and really grind the paper into your asshole. If I lean forward I can barely get my hand behind my ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joestradamus Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 I honestly can't tell anymore which of you are joking and which are being serious. Btw, when you sit and lean forward, your ass is nice and spread for you to dig in and clean properly, especially if you finish off with baby wipes. No flushing those though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 3 hours ago, kittykat said: Yes this is my technique. If you sit and lean you just can not get up in there as easily. I am genuinely shocked to read that people think sitting and wiping your ass is the most effective way. That is insanity. The shocking thing is: 1. Somehow standing smears shit all over your butt cheeks. People must be shitting basketballs for that to happen. Shit does not get on my butt cheeks. 2. People afraid of skid marks. Do people not look at the TP? Look at your toilet paper, when you stop seeing poop on the TP your ass is clean. On average I can use less than 6 squares of TP and come away clean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triage Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triage Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodporne Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Once again, this is the kind of content that makes me glad I hopped over from NeoGAF. I've been laughing at some of these insane replies for days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 29 minutes ago, Bloodporne said: Once again, this is the kind of content that makes me glad I hopped over from NeoGAF. I've been laughing at some of these insane replies for days. Sitters at Neogaf get perma'd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skillzdadirecta Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 On 11/9/2018 at 2:55 PM, eggydoo said: Reminds me of a story a college friend told me once where she was about to hook up with some dude and then saw shit stains on his boxers when it was about to go down and she backed out. He must've been a stand up wipe guy. Lol I wrote that in a script once @Bloodporne My buddy that I was telling you about is in town this weekend and staying at my spot once again. We walk into the house and he's not here for ten minutes, goes to the bathroom then comes out and says "Of course I stopped your toilet up... where's your plunger?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triage Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Well, read some articles and I guess either way is fine. Seems that about 40% or so actually stand to wipe. I will have to try it. I bathe afterward anyway so doesn't matter anyway. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nokra Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Triage said: Well, read some articles and I guess either way is fine. Seems that about 40% or so actually stand to wipe. I will have to try it. I bathe afterward anyway so doesn't matter anyway. "For now, there doesn't seem to be a solid answer...." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickey Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 This depends on the place and the toilet. If its a public bathroom, I try to keep my ass off of the seat as much as possible and keep my hand from going into the bowl, so I do the squat stand. At home my ass stays on the toilet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 2 hours ago, Triage said: Well, read some articles An exciting weekend for @Triage reading about how to wipe your ass. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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