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RIP in Peace, stepee. We'll miss you.

Commissar SFLUFAN
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Rev

Rev

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I keep remembering the shitty things I said to him years ago when we didn't get along on here. We talked frequently over the last few years and I don't think either of us held any hard feelings over any of it but it still sucks to remember. 

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Biggie

Biggie

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2 minutes ago, Rev said:

I keep remembering the shitty things I said to him years ago when we didn't get along on here. We talked frequently over the last few years and I don't think either of us held any hard feelings over any of it but it still sucks to remember. 

We have all said shit on here that we regret. It happens. Don’t beat yourself up. I feel this is exactly the advice stepee would say to you. 

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LionFranco

LionFranco

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Damn, i just found out about this. I'm sorry he is gone. I know we didn't always get along, but just having known certain people for so many years, and then to lose them is scary. If there is an afterlife, i hope he is messing with people there too.

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Rev

Rev

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26 minutes ago, Andrea said:


Yes! Going to bumbershoot in Seattle this weekend. 

Nice, I didn't even know that was happening this weekend. I'm on-call this week so I can't leave home unfortunately.

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thedarkstark

thedarkstark

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Wow this is incredibly sad news. 

 

I don't post or play video games nearly as often as I used to but I've been a small part of the community for over 20 years. Spending time with and getting to know many of you through the years has brought me great joy. When Wade ran the TF2 server those were honestly some of my fondest memories. TFTuesdays were the highlight of my week. (Thank you so much for doing that  @Commissar SFLUFAN )

 

Even though I've never personally met any of you, you all feel like family. Even when we have arguments and disagreements it feels like you're fighting with a sibling, I wish I had more time to spend with you all. Stepee was always so positive and jovial, he always made me laugh and this place will certainly not be same without him. My sincere condolences to all of his friends and loved ones. 

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Commissar SFLUFAN

Commissar SFLUFAN

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Stephen's name was the first one read for the intentions at the mass I just attended and will be read at all masses today.  After the names were read, the hymn that immediately followed was "Amazing Grace", one of the greatest works of music (or art, in general) ever created by the mind of man.

 

I'm really glad I brought a packet of Kleenex with me.

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Best

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1 minute ago, Commissar SFLUFAN said:

Stephen's name was the first one read for the intentions at the mass I just attended and will be read at all masses today.  After the names were read, the hymn that immediately followed was "Amazing Grace", one of the greatest works of music (or art, in general) ever created by the mind of man.

 

I'm really glad I brought a packet of Kleenex with me.

 

Really thankful for that, Wade. 

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Triage

Triage

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I've been reading all of your comments and wanted to say I'm sorry so many of you are suffering. You all are an amazing community and I miss all the fun I had here. Best gaming community I belong to (even though it's the only one I belong to). Stephen was awesome human being. Him gone reminds us life is short and never take anything for granted. I'll do my best to be more present in this community. I have made lasting friendships here that continue outside of here. Once again RIP stepee and if anyone needs anything let me know I'm here. 

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Biggie

Biggie

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1 hour ago, Commissar SFLUFAN said:

Stephen's name was the first one read for the intentions at the mass I just attended and will be read at all masses today.  After the names were read, the hymn that immediately followed was "Amazing Grace", one of the greatest works of music (or art, in general) ever created by the mind of man.

 

I'm really glad I brought a packet of Kleenex with me.

 

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HardAct

HardAct

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On 8/24/2024 at 7:41 AM, Commissar SFLUFAN said:

 

 

I'm with @Mr.Vic20 on this!  Cut 'em loose!

Me too, he'd LOVE THAT!

 

     As many know we lost our 30 year old son in 2019 and these boards meant so much to me. I don't do any sort of social media {FB, X, Insta gramm, Tic Toc, etc never have} at all except these boards. I'm a weird old soul like that!

 

     @Stepee has been a vital part of these boards and his generosity was second to none. What a loss, can't find the words right now, truly shocked. Someone known only by his actions, knowledge and humor. Huge loss to theses boards, his family and his friends! Hell be greatly missed! WOW, what a shock.....

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Nokra

Nokra

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I haven't posted anything in this thread yet because, well....I guess I've needed some time to process this and gather my own thoughts. Many others have already said what I'm feeling far more eloquently than I feel I'm able to express. 

 

I actually told my family about Stephen's death, and in so doing it made me cry. :/ I unfortunately never met him in real life, never talked to him on the phone, or really had any contact with him outside of these boards, yet I'm still feeling a lot of loss from this. His contributions to this community were many: his humor, his generosity, and simply his humanity came through his posts for the decades we've all posted together. I'm sure they were felt even more by those who were lucky enough to know him in person. 

 

Rest in peace, Stephen/stepee. :rose: 

 

 

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Nokra

Nokra

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It made me think of this quote from a favorite of mine, Hermann Hesse:

 

“We fear death, we shudder at life's instability, we grieve to see the flowers wilt again and again, and the leaves fall, and in our hearts we know that we, too, are transitory and will soon disappear. When artists create pictures and thinkers search for laws and formulate thoughts, it is in order to salvage something from the great dance of death, to make something last longer than we do.”

― Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund

 

I think this is why his death is hitting me so hard, at least. Stephen was a good guy, he was generous with his money, time, and energy, he was still young, he had recently had some good luck, and yet...  :( 

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HardAct

HardAct

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On 8/24/2024 at 12:20 PM, Commissar SFLUFAN said:

 

If it's anything like what my own father experienced when my half-sister passed away, it's pain beyond all measure.

      I can from 1st hand experience it's gut wrenching! When our son passed I felt dizzy and couldn't stand. It's unimaginable unless you experience it. I wish and hope you ALL never do. He was battling brain cancer, never complained and took each day head on. Knowing we had only months left with him, by his side nearly everyday with a hour drive each way, it still about took us out! BOTH my wife and I. We were there in his room when he took his last breath and I very grateful for that. It's been over 5 years and it feel like it was yesterday. I MISS HIM SO TERRIBLY SO! There aren't words for these things and I know what his father is going through and I feel for the man and his family. It's life's cruelest action. 

 

   I'm not trying to sidestep the news about Stepee, I just wanted to somehow relay how hard these things are for families! It even nearly tor our marriage apart as these things tend to affect us in ways that we lash out on those we love the most! I will never forget @stepee 

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Andrea

Andrea

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1 hour ago, NeoJoe said:

Oh no! This news breaks my heart. Stepee was always so fun and silly and I always appreciated that about him over all these years. Sending love to his family. :rose::(


Never forget the song he wrote about you 😂. One of his best imo. 

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Andrea

Andrea

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On 9/1/2024 at 10:15 AM, Commissar SFLUFAN said:

Stephen's name was the first one read for the intentions at the mass I just attended and will be read at all masses today.  After the names were read, the hymn that immediately followed was "Amazing Grace", one of the greatest works of music (or art, in general) ever created by the mind of man.

 

I'm really glad I brought a packet of Kleenex with me.


I shared this with his mom and she is so appreciative. She is religious and it means a lot to her. She said that Amazing Grace is her favorite hymn and also was her mom/stephens grandma’s favorite hymn and they played it at her service when she passed. 
 

Hope everyone is doing okay and holding up as best as they can. Can’t believe it’s been a little more than a week since finding out. The initial shock has worn off and I’ve had some time to process and stabilize in that sense. But the pain and the sadness remains. And new realizations keep hitting like seeing older people walking around and realizing he’ll never see that age. Going on a trip and exploring new places and realizing he’ll never get to do that again when he had so many plans to. Wanting to just text him and ask him stuff and update him on things and I can’t. All this stuff hits like a knife in the heart every time. It’s going to be a journey to heal. 
 

Glad we all have each other to lean on though. In the coming weeks we could start working more on what @Commissar SFLUFANmentioned for a project for his parents. They are planning to lay him to rest around late September/early October so it may be nice for them to have something around that time. But we can talk about it more and finalize things in a bit. I’ll be pretty busy this week with work and getting ready for another trip from Sep 8th to 15th but will be more free after that to focus on coordinating.  

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SoberChef

SoberChef

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On 9/1/2024 at 10:15 AM, Commissar SFLUFAN said:

Stephen's name was the first one read for the intentions at the mass I just attended and will be read at all masses today.  After the names were read, the hymn that immediately followed was "Amazing Grace", one of the greatest works of music (or art, in general) ever created by the mind of man.

 

I'm really glad I brought a packet of Kleenex with me.

 

I'm glad to hear it was a loving service.

 

9 hours ago, HardAct said:

      I can from 1st hand experience it's gut wrenching! When our son passed I felt dizzy and couldn't stand. It's unimaginable unless you experience it. I wish and hope you ALL never do. He was battling brain cancer, never complained and took each day head on. Knowing we had only months left with him, by his side nearly everyday with a hour drive each way, it still about took us out! BOTH my wife and I. We were there in his room when he took his last breath and I very grateful for that. It's been over 5 years and it feel like it was yesterday. I MISS HIM SO TERRIBLY SO! There aren't words for these things and I know what his father is going through and I feel for the man and his family. It's life's cruelest action. 

 

   I'm not trying to sidestep the news about Stepee, I just wanted to somehow relay how hard these things are for families! It even nearly tor our marriage apart as these things tend to affect us in ways that we lash out on those we love the most! I will never forget @stepee 

 

As someone who is there for his other half on the daily as she suffers through her own physical battle, I'm glad to see that through what is unquestionably, THE hardest thing to have to encounter, you're together still. I am so overwhelmingly sorry to hear what you both went through. 

 

3 hours ago, CastlevaniaNut18 said:

I remember when he came here his name was  Giger’s predator. But I think he was mocking that guy who was known as giger’s alien at the time. 

 

As soon as you said that username I almost became incensed, not sure why exactly, but I do remember that poster from IGN!

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CastlevaniaNut18

CastlevaniaNut18

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32 minutes ago, SoberChef said:

 

I'm glad to hear it was a loving service.

 

 

As someone who is there for his other half on the daily as she suffers through her own physical battle, I'm glad to see that through what is unquestionably, THE hardest thing to have to encounter, you're together still. I am so overwhelmingly sorry to hear what you both went through. 

 

 

As soon as you said that username I almost became incensed, not sure why exactly, but I do remember that poster from IGN!

He was here for a long time, too. Later switched his name to alien gunner. He was a creep. 

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Commissar SFLUFAN

Commissar SFLUFAN

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18 hours ago, Andrea said:

Glad we all have each other to lean on though. In the coming weeks we could start working more on what @Commissar SFLUFANmentioned for a project for his parents. They are planning to lay him to rest around late September/early October so it may be nice for them to have something around that time. But we can talk about it more and finalize things in a bit. I’ll be pretty busy this week with work and getting ready for another trip from Sep 8th to 15th but will be more free after that to focus on coordinating.  

 

I genuinely do believe that writing individual letters to the family is the most meaningful tribute that we could provide as a community to them in showing just how much their son meant to us!

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Biggie

Biggie

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8 minutes ago, Commissar SFLUFAN said:

 

I genuinely do believe that writing individual letters to the family is the most meaningful tribute that we could provide as a community to them in showing just how much their son meant to us!

I’m totally down 

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