Nokra

Yeah I also must admit to spending too much money on cafes here. The cafe culture is ubiquitous and inescapable. Every day after lunch people go to a cafe. So you either sit there and drink nothing or you don't go. A cappuccino costs €2.40 * 5 days per week * 52 weeks per year = €624. Technically unnecessary because I could bring coffee from home, but that basically never happens.

I am disappoint. But I'll try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they mean frou-frou sugary coffee from Starbucks, Dutch Brothers, etc. No way you would even spend $20/month on coffee at home.

@Jason Well congrats on the sex at least. As @Scott seems to have implied, it does kind of sound like she's not that in to it, or is at the least kind of playing it safe and restrained. I'd say, see how it goes now that you've had some open communication, and if it doesn't seem like you're on equal footing after a short time, it's probably best to leave it. That kind of imbalance rarely seems to play out well. But who knows, now that you've talked, maybe you'll be more on the same page now.

Took me a second to even realize what the joke was, but yes, now it's obvious that he's wearing lipstick. 😂

Personally I would say no it doesn't count; to me, if you're not in a relationship you can't cheat or be cheated on.

I'm curious what the numbers are like for this question. I recently had my first definite experience with being more or less cheated on and it pretty much sucks as much as I imagined, though maybe a little bit less. The fear of the thing was once again worse than the thing itself. So I'm curious to know how common it is among D1Pers, in both directions. If you feel like elaborating, I'm happy to get the details to understand better. But I'm also interested in the numbers and it's all anonymous. For this poll I'm saying yes, I was cheated on, and no, I have not cheated on anyone.

How did it go, @Jason ?

Maybe three or four kittens at once. Adult cats, maybe two.

Thanks, Obama!

I must admit to being very tempted to create a new thread with the title "Russian Spy Whale Has Defecated" and then in the topic just post one of Trump's tweets.

I don't know why it's in German, but I laughed.

Endgame spoilers

@Jason I'm glad that you're getting to talk to her on Saturday. Whatever happens, talking about it with her honestly and openly will almost certainly give you more peace than you've got now. I really wish that for you. I don't have a lot of words of wisdom because it's hard to know what all of the factors involved are, but I really hope that it works out for you. If you can talk about it and not take it too seriously or personally, I think that's a great sign. Hopefully all it takes is just a quick conversation about what happened and where you'd like it to go and then you're all set. That sounds terrible, man, I'm sorry you went through that. Have these feelings gotten any better since then? Have you been actively working on improving it? And have you ever considered talking to a professional about it? Therapy is tremendously helpful, and a few sessions could do you a world of good if you're not feeling like you're getting clear of it on your own. I've found even just a couple times with someone was tremendously helpful in getting a different perspective, which in turn was very helpful in getting out of ruminative cycles and anxiety. But of course they're there for any number of issues. For myself, a week after learning that the girl "cheated" on me, I feel like I'm in a much better place, though still hurting. I'm less sad and I can take it a lot less personally now, though I still don't like that this is the third time this has happened to me. I think it's time to focus on myself for a while.

It seems like this is a pretty common perspective these days. Maybe OSes have gotten more stable?

Everyone thinks they're special.

Gave you the for a) linking to a "click through" countdown and b) not summarizing for the lazy.

I peed right before the movie started and had zero trouble making it through. But I also wasn't drinking anything during, so this is not surprising.

Saw this last night and I, too, absolutely loved it. So many emotional highs in this movie, I was actually moved on several occasions. Personally I want this universe to continue and am really bummed that But I guess you can't have everything, right? Anyway, excellent, excellent film, and one I absolutely intend to see again in the theaters.

Eh, you feel how you feel, man, and I don't think there's a right or a wrong time frame. It sounds like it really bothered you how things went down, and that's perfectly understandable; it's perfectly normal to be upset! That would have really upset me, too! To make sure I understand it more fully though, what specifically bothers you about the situation? Personally I think you should give yourself permission to grieve the loss, without adding extra guilt or other expectations on to yourself. Give yourself some time and have some patience and understanding with yourself. It'll get better! Where did this fear of rejection come from? Is it only for romantic partners, or even with possible friends? Maybe it's a good idea to work on the confidence and self-esteem, while at the same time getting involved in something that gets you some contacts with people? I noticed that I needed to work on my own self-esteem after several incidents in the last couple years, and after getting cheated on last week, as I mentioned earlier in this thread, I realized now was finally the time to fly solo and work on myself for a while. I bought the following books which might be of interest to you, too: Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David D. Burns, M.D. - I read two of his other books (Feeling Good and Feeling Good Together) which were tremendously helpful in getting me out of a funk in the past. Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay, PhD. - This one was on a list of the top self-esteem books I found so it's a bit of an experiment. What A Time To Be Alone by Chidera Eggerue - This one was also on the list of best self-esteem books and seems to be a lot less "clinical" than the other two. The books just arrived at my place yesterday so I haven't started them yet, but maybe something like that would help you, too? I'm not a therapist and I don't even play one on TV but hopefully these books could at least be useful.

Rowdy Rod Roseinstein Relents and Relinquishes his Resignation, Requiring a Rearranging of the Remaining Ridiculous and Rapacious Rascals to Repress the Ruin of Residual Resources.

Dawww. Have you thought at all about what you're going to do with them?

What a weird aside. I hadn't heard about the efforts to repeal the Johnson Amendment, but this sounds horrifying. Even leaving aside that I'm not religious myself, why would anyone, including the religious right, want to further wear down the separation of church and state? Don't they see how it could backfire?

It sucks right now, but you will find someone even better. Just keep yourself open to what else is out there while you're concentrating on yourself for a little while. You're a smart and funny dude, and you'll draw the right one to you when the time is right and it'll just flow naturally.

Sorry to hear that, @Jason , that sounds pretty frustrating. It sounds like it would all have been quite avoidable with a bit of communication but nobody wanted to be pushy. I'm not sure I completely agree with Anathema about the "mostly compatible" thing. To some degree, yes, but there are always a few growing pains in a new relationship, as you both learn each others' communication styles, needs, etc. On the other hand, if even after learning that it was mostly a communication issue she (or you) still doesn't want to continue, that doesn't give me much hope that it would work out. It could well just be that one or both of you simply isn't that in to it. In my own dating drama, I had been seeing this girl for a few weeks, actually spending quite a bit of time with her, and I was pretty excited about where it was going. Yesterday we met to talk and she told me that she had slept with an ex-boyfriend the day before. We hadn't explicitly had the "are we exclusive" conversation, but we talked about our expectations were and she knew damn well that something like that would hurt me and she did it anyway. I ended it on the spot; I want someone I can trust to look after my feelings and who is in to it as much as I am. So that's the end of that. At least it was only a few weeks in, but it really sucks because I actually cared for this girl and was excited to see where it was going. Oh well.