LazyPiranha

God fucking damn it people, we're arguing about the emotional subtext in a show where they played up an AT-ST as a serious threat as if we haven't seen those bastards get their shit absolutely wrecked by a bunch of teddy bears.

Look, let's find the compromise here, yeah? Can we agree that the shot is clearly framed to show that Mando is contemplating the simple life and what it would mean to hang it all up and live here peacefully while at the same time acknowledging that the show has done none of the emotional labor to justify that?

This should forever end the knife vs. bat debate.

Look, we're arguing about the greater nuances of storytelling in a series that seems content to make no sense at all. It's a fun watch and I'm really enjoying myself, but this show is not even four episodes long and has somehow already managed to make its own lore non-sensical. Just last episode Mando had his little tiff and the armory lady asked him if he ever removed his helmet or ever had it removed, but in this episode we find that the consequence is to never be able to put it back on so that's kind of a meaningless question seeing as he's wearing his helmet. The Mandalorians are "in hiding" yet they have a huge, shiny metal sigil representing their race above their front door. Half of this seems sloppy and the other half feels like a writing team with no time to breath. Mando is asked in this episode if he's tempted to take off his helmet and shack up with the widow, a woman he's known for less time than it takes a mug of coffee to hit room temperature. You really think he's going to abandon his entire way of life up until know for someone he just met? A lot of stuff in this show only works as a plot device to get things moving. Why do two farmers from the ass end of the universe harvesting tiny blue fish for a living living in straw huts recognize a Mandalorian by his armor? Hell, if I wanted to be real shitty about the last episode I'd point out that people sure do spend a lot of time punching Mando's beskar steel helmet with their bare fist a lot and it seems to hurt him way more than it hurts their hand. Star Wars is, and continues to be profoundly stupid. This is just an entertaining profoundly stupid.

Thanks as always for the generosity

Yes, but people are also bitching about the presence of a warning.

Those are all hollow arguments. Everyone except the most insane is completely and totally fine with censorship of content done by the company hosting the content depending on the circumstance. If you could open up Spotify, hit shuffle, and get a bunch of violent white power hardcore music, that would be a problem would it not? Is arguing that Spotify shouldn't put white power music in its library the same thing as arguing that D&D is leading kids into devil worship in your eyes and shouldn't be sold the same in your eyes? Content providers are constantly removing or barring objectionable things from their service all the time. At this point in time, there is functionally no difference between making new racist ass content and making your old racist ass content easily available for money. By selling access to it, and not in some weird sort of archivist way but as a product you should buy right now to toss in front of your kids for a moment of respite, they are erasing that distinction.

Oh for fuck's sake, are we now actually claiming that a company voluntarily combing its own back catalog and removing things for being problematic in the current time is somehow anywhere near analogous to dictators burning books? Really? Has the discourse become this stupid? I genuinely don't understand the people who take that sort of die hard position. My kid loves Looney Tunes, but you can bet your ass I selectively choose which ones he watches because I don't think 5 is an age where he can understand any of the discussion I would need to have about Speedy Gonzales. Am I saying these cartoons should be stricken from the earth? No, but at the same time maybe they don't all need to be included in a modern day streaming service.

Ah, got it.

Really? I got the impression he hated it, or is that what you're excited about?

There's a pretty big difference between random chuckleheads making dumb shit on the internet for the lulz and it being played at a business owned by the President of the United States.

Those are totally fair standpoints for a review. If someone made a movie that took a remarkably pro Al Qaida standpoint and genuinely pushed suicide bombers as heroes, would you roll your eyes at a review criticizing the premise and claiming it shouldn't exist? I'm not saying these are in the same league, but talking about a film in context with its cultural moment is kind of the point of a film critic.

For the last time people, Star Wars makes no fucking sense. It never has. It didn't make sense within the first five minutes of the first movie when two empire chucklefucks don't bother to deal with an escape pod that has no life forms aboard in a world where sentient robots are literally everywhere. You're carrying a torch for a storyline the original creators couldn't pull off right out of the gate.

I enjoyed both movies just fine. I'm not letting any of this ruin things for me. The only thing I'm saying is people who hate TLJ for plot issues but love Rogue One are forgiving a ton of nonsense. You can hate TLJ and love Rogue One, that's fine, but to say TLJ makes no sense and abandons everything established in the lore then to gush over Rogue One makes no sense at all.

What interesting characters? You don't know any of them for long enough for them to develop much of a character at all and throughout the entire movie they're making decisions that are absurd. They're boilerplate archetypes, a scenery chewing Forest Whitaker, and Madds Mikkelsen hardly waiting for the word "cut" before running to the bank with his paycheck. If someone cares about plot consistency at all than Rogue One takes a hatchet to the storyline.

Anyone who doesn't like TLJ for plot reasons but likes Rogue One must have been sleepwalking through that movie. Remember when the blind samurai and his buddy go along on a suicide mission with total strangers they know nothing about and everyone is just kind of cool with that? Air tight plotting right there. Let's not forget that they end the movie in a way where the start of A New Hope makes zero sense at all. "Yeah, this is a diplomatic mission bruh" "Bitch I just watched you take off five minutes ago. I was behind you the whole time."

Motherfucker, George Lucas had the concept in his head that an adult Indiana Jones fucked Marion when she was 11.

The press tour to this movie has been a parade of people stepping up to the plate of a tee ball game and whiffing at the air. Not since the Sex and the City movies has there been a group of people so incapable of reading the cultural moment, and it's weird to see the people who made this thing so confused by completely predictable questions. If the movie ends up being good, it will be like a hurricane blowing through a junkyard and accidentally assembling a cherry '67 Nova.

My proposal:

So you've never been to a mainstream porn website, but you do daily browse kotaku and then intentionally click on the link that explicitly says "video game porn" in the title?

Sue them for what? As stupid as the decision to publish this article is, suing Kotaku for reporting/critiquing something created by someone else hosted by someone else, that sets a really weird precedent for future cases where people publish indecent material for more newsworthy purposes. Besides, if people were actually bothered offended by this then they'd be spending a lot of time reporting the actual porn sites actually hosting these videos to the proper authorities. I'm sure @AbsolutSurgen reported Pornhub to the FBI for hosting simulated child porn as soon as he was done reporting this Kotaku person. Surely. He's that outraged after all, so why limit his rage to the small fry at the bottom?

Against who? It’s not like Kotaku made the porn in the first place and good fucking luck figuring out who created the original.

I'm genuinely in favor of passing a law that mandates anyone who uses the word "triggered" in a leering way be marched straight into the ocean at gunpoint. The same motherfuckers that high five each other over how triggered snowflakes are spending millions of dollars on shirts and stickers because a black dude kneeled.