LazyPiranha

I mean I’m not about to trawl the internet for proof.

While for profit health is still a debacle, they at least have a monetary incentive to make people healthy, comfortable, and whole. For profit prisons have nothing to gain from reforming people, criminal justice reform, or leniency.

Slowly phasing in over the course of five years? Man, these libs are so totally

I know that lying and being idiots come as naturally to these people as breathing, but how exactly does one use "I was hacked" as an excuse for this? Even if you WERE hacked, you just... had topless photos of your underage daughter in your camera roll?

Sometimes relationships end and you’d prefer your ex to not have your tits on their phone forever?

Do you have the political death note? Do you have time to write 49 more letters?

Currently trading at 69. Nice.

Literally anyone who tries to suggest that the stock market is tied to the health of the economy should be shot on site and their body left to rot as an example to others.

Lennie was too smart to fall for this.

Guys, the people who stormed the capitol to execute politicians just really love America ya know?

Cruella De Vil just wanted a coat. This bitch is worse.

Herman Munster lookin’ ass.

Let him flee. You think that fat fuck is good for intel? That useless chode can’t remember the names of the kids he doesn’t want to fuck, and one of them is named after him.

People like the filibuster because they watched Jimmy Stewart do it once in high school.

I mean, globally Twitter is less of a problem but it did directly lead to a huge part of the prominence of Trump

Yeah I don’t see how anyone can imagine a world in which unregulated social media is “fine.” This is primarily a video game board, have we already forgotten the nonsense chuds have done in the past couple years? Did we already forget when a bunch of whiny assholes got so butt hurt over the amount of skin in a fire emblem game that they actively dug through the credits to find, harass, and destroy the career of a single woman who had literally nothing to do with that decision? How does that coordinated effort happen without the aid of social media? Assholery is like any other thing in life, people engage with it when it’s easy, convenient, and the consequences are minimal. Social media is the perfect confluence of these things with the cherry on top of creating custom made echo chambers to reinforce the idea that actually you are completely right in doing this and here are hundred to thousands of other people who will support you.

Why else would someone drink Diet Coke if not for the flavor? Microdosing sodium?

Yeah I drink Coke Zero, I’ve got no room to complain in regards to someone’s taste.

I still don’t know why anyone thought he wouldn’t. Only six presidents actively chose not to run for re-election. Besides, I imagine it would be a huge benefit to dems to NOT have to do a primary campaign and focus purely on the election itself.

Here’s a moral quandary: if Rand Paul and Ted Cruz are both stuck in a burning building, how long do you wait to call your physician because your erection has not gone away?

If Ted Cruz were dying on the side of the road and all I had to do was dial 911 to save him... I’d dial 911, show him the numbers on my screen, then make him watch as I deleted each digit and walked away.

Look if you want to sleep on top of a bunch of tiny bubbles suspended in plastic like the sad foam from a 40oz in a brown paper bag, you do you. I meanwhile, will lay myself upon the cold rolled steel that has been twisted and formed into compliance like the god damned king that I am. Now go listen to some podcast and enter your promo code while I pay full price like an absolute chad.